Tuesday, 20 May 2014

I lost my best friend

The most loyal, cutest cat in the whole world died peacefully with my mom and dad yesterday morning. And the world seems gloomy without him.



Image012 30-08-07_2131






We’ll all miss you Milo.. <3

Sunday, 13 April 2014


Does listening to indie music aka alternative music make you look cool? The answer is yes! Especially if the indie music you’re talking about is the ARCTIC MONKEYS. Like seriously if a guy says he likes arctic monkeys, do not hesitate, grab him and get married. Coz if you don’t you’re gonna regret it.

So what makes indie music or anything in this genre cool?

I mean there’s indie music, indie films and even weirder indie books.

I hate it when people say they like indie just to sound cool, when in fact they don’t even know what indie is.

Indie is the short form for independent. Like in case of music, indie singers or bands don’t belong to any major record companies. The songs you hear on the radio, that’s mainstream music, the opposite of indie.

And thus that explains your confusion when i say Arctic Monkeys. Coz you’ve never heard of them before. Because their songs are not played on the radio. Well not here anyway. But that doesn’t mean they’re not good. They are waaay better. Hey they even played on the olympics opening ceremony. And they have won awards too.  And plus it adds to the cool factor because most people don’t know about them. Which makes you automatically cool when you say you like them. So do you get it now?

1. People who like indie is cool cause not everybody knows about them. Only people who have great taste in music.

Here’s an example:

cool guy: Hey what kind of music do u like?

girl:  I dunno, uh.. anything in the radio i guess.

cool guy: oh.. i like indie. The Arctic Monkeys is my favourite band.

girl: hahahahaha What’s arctic monkeys?

cool guy: What?! They’re the coolest band in the world. How could you not know about it?! Do you live under a rock or something?!

and the conversation started going downwards after that. Then finally the guy walks away with his hands in his pockets, the song Do i wanna know plays in the background.

yeah you know he’s hot if this song plays in the background.

2. people who like indie is different and unique coz they are not following the crowd. It sets them apart from everyone else.

3. They find their own thing, their own favourite music instead of what society gives them, so you know they have their own mind, and their not afraid to be different.Which is so,so,sooooo cool.

I am not an indie fan. I like the arctic monkeys and i like songs that aren’t in the radio, but sometimes i do listen to some songs if they are good.

But i’m not a fan of indie films. It’s too symbolic, and i don’t get indie books either. But i do know people who read indie books are really smart. And they don’t like to waste time with meaningless things. Most of them detest entertainment. So i’m not sure i like people like that. But still most of them are cool.

I listen to songs because of their lyrics. And the arctic monkeys songs are written by Alex turner. Wow.. I wish i cud write stories like alex turner writes lyrics. Because it’s amazing.

dec9cf80c1e866715ed479511087d5b9 fb40ae85b0432fd49eae46c9eb7801e7


So anyway my point is, it doesn’t matter what the music genre is, what matters is the songs and the lyrics. And yes, listening to indie music makes you look cool.

So, owned languange, stating my stand, relevant points, yup dats it.. This is actually my practice text for my upcoming speaking test. And i wanna test myself on what i have learnt in BBI2423. And yeah, you know i won this discussion so suck it imaginary group members!! HAHA!

And i’m a lil crazy because midsem break is about to end.. sooo…yeah..


so bye for now.. till the next weird and crazy post..

thank you for reading.. and sorry..hahahaha


Tuesday, 8 April 2014

UPM agriculture class outing

Chickens, cows, lambs, fishes and horses…….


Are the many things that we did NOT get to see on this farm. Although we did get to see the fishes, and ponds and lakes and lil floaty thingys. I don’t know what their called. But they look like fun!

see this is the lil floaty thingys.. i think it’s a cage or something..


Obviously we did a lot of walking and it was really, really hot outside. Makes you wish that this farm visit includes a swim in that lake. LOL



padi.. i think..  and a pic of some type of tree..with fruit in it..





Agrotechnology bio..something.. oh yeah i remember its called aeroponics.




Photo1484i don’t even know what that is..

Photo1485  By the time i took this pic, the visit was almost over so i had already lose focus.. so don’t ask me what that is.


final group picture..




Oh wait i didn’t take any… oh well this is all i learnt in this farm visit. Yup that’s it. We’re supposed to write a report but i’m not sure how that’s possible cause most of that day was just a blur. I can’t even recall where that farm is. I just got.. distracted.

Anyway, thanks for reading. To all UPM students, have a great mid sem break!


Friday, 7 March 2014


Assalamualaikum. Hi everyone!!!

It’s really, really hot outside. And when it’s hot you might notice how people are on the edge lately. Small simple things can be blown up into a catastrophe that can eventually lead to world war 3.

Small simple things like sports. In a freaking stadium.

But that’s not what i want to talk about in this post. I want to explain and clarify the meaning of the phrase anti social.

This coming from the person who was anti social and still is anti social now,  i guess.

Everyone thinks their anti social. It’s cool to be anti social. But being anti social isn’t where you don’t like being in a crowd of people or you don’t like a certain group of people. Being anti social, at least for me, is that i can’t be around people and it literally brings me pain to be around too many people.

Now being anti social doesn’t necessarily  mean you don’t like other people and you hate being in public places.

In my case it’s the FEAR of being in a social situation. I get panic attacks where i literally forget how to breathe. I’m not even exaggerating right now, this has happened before, when i was in school. In the morning assembly, i felt like i was being choked, the air around me getting thinner. 

I was like that through the whole time i was in school. My least favourite subject was recess. My favourite subject is exams. Now when i look back it sounds crazy but that’s just me being me, the anti social freak.

In Palam there wasn’t really any time to socialize in sports or whatever. Everyone focused on tests and quizzes and exams. And that’s the way i like it.

Now here in UPM, i am forced to deal with college life. Where there are meetings every night, and inter college sports, and inter college events and situations where you have to communicate with seniors. Not to mention orientations, university orientations and college orientations and floor orientations. Where you are forced to introduce yourself to everyone. 

I made it through orientation, barely made it, but i survived. Now all these activities might be like leisure activities for other students where you get to have fun and laugh and i dunno sweat or something. But for me this is torture. Like if you want to get information out of me or something, just lock me in a room full of seniors from KTDI.

Now i don’t hate people. I love people. I just hate the idea of the instability of how people behave like I think it’s scary when you’re around too many people and you can’t predict or tell what they’re gonna do. Like most people say to me “They’re just seniors, they’re just regular people, they’re not gonna eat you”

Well in my mind they do eat people. I have an active imagination and i imagine the worst all the time. And whenever i’m out in public i have this constant real fear of the people around me suddenly turning into cannibals and vampires and eat everyone. 

It’s like having a fear of clowns. You know the clowns will never hurt you but in your mind you have this scary image of the clown with like scary teeth and a knife in his hands.

I get it. It’s annoying. IT’s annoying to other people and it’s annoying to me as well. But everyone is different and nobody’s perfect. The keyword is respect.

Respect each other. If you think your friend is anti social, help her or him. I promise you that an anti social person have no intention of being arrogant or mean or snobbish. I want to help, i want to be involved in activities but sometimes i can’t get over that fear. And it does not help if you lash out at me and accuse me of being selfish. It’s not nice for you to do that.

I respect a social person. I get how bad you feel when there’s no one around to talk to you. Being alone is like something you can’t stand and can’t even bear to think about. I don’t really get it but i respect you. I respect that everyone is different. That crippled, lonely, depressed feeling you get when you’re alone, it’s painful for you. So i get how you want to be involved in activities.

But please i beg of you respect me as an anti social person, try to understand how i feel when you put me in a social situation. I know there will come a time when i have to do these things, and i will, but in special cases where i am given a choice, i will take the choice that involves very little contact with other people. Like in the case of sports.I’d rather not join it.

I get that its a weakness and it’s ridiculous and it might also seems childish to have such an outrageous behaviour. But being anti social also has its perks. My best writing comes out whenever i’m in a social situation.Writing is my coping mechanism and also sometimes my defense mechanism.

Tips on how to deal with anti social people

1. Be gentle.

Don’f force them to do something that they don’t want to do, or yell at them. It’s like the person is bungee jumping. The worst thing you could do is push them. What you can do is try and coax them or i dunno do whatever it is you can to assure them that there’s nothing to be afraid of.

2.Leave them

sometimes anti social people just want to be alone. To just breathe and let go of everything. So just leave them be.

3.Don’t ask them why they are alone

just don’t ask.

Ok so i hope now you understand. I know it’s not good to be anti social and i’m trying to change, but at a very slow pace. Another thing about anti social people is they can change but if you push  them too much they go back into their shell. Like a hermit crab or a turtle.

Anyway thanks for reading. Have a great weekend. :)



Thursday, 9 January 2014

What happened??

This post is dedicated to everyone who has been asked this weird  question by your friends.

It was the orientation week in UPM. And i met this girl she was my old friend in school and i was happy to see her cuz i haven’t seen her in a while. So then i asked her what course are you taking and then she said major in ‘science’. I can’t remember the exact name of the course but i’m sure it was something scientific. Then she asked me back what course i’m taking. And then i answered degree in economics. She smiled not knowing how to react and then the conversation ended because the program was about to start or something.

That night in the dewan besar UPM. She sat in the row in front of me. I noticed her there and said hi. Then i don’t remember why the question suddenly came up but then she turned and asked me “Farah what happened?”

She was clearly asking why i’m not taking science anymore and why i got thrown to the faculty of economics of all the places. A simple question but it’s not the question that was bugging me it was your face and your tone of voice.

As if she’s saying what happened to you Farah? You were a bright, smart student in school with a bright future ahead of you. Did something happen to you in PALAM? Did your grades go down because you got involved with some shady people and got distracted by a cute guy or something? OR have you just gone stupid?  It must’ve been a really bad spiral because you’re not even in the science stream anymore.

So then i answered “Well i didn’t really get a good CGPA in foundation so i could only qualify for this”

Then she nodded her head and smiled then we continued talking and stuff. But that question she asked have been bugging me ever since. And the way i answered didn’t really help. So now i want to clear the air and explain myself.

Firstly, i just want to say nothing happened to me.

I didn’t get distracted and i didn’t get involved with shady people. Yes i failed some of my subjects but that’s because i didn’t understand them, but not because i got distracted.

And secondly i decided to get out of the science stream before the second semester started. Not because of my CGPA. Because i was miserable. I didn’t want to be in the science stream anymore. And i can’t imagine myself working in some lab or in a hospital doing research or whatever. So i consulted my mom about getting out of the science stream and she was okay with it.

And now i’m glad that i got offered this course because i’m loving it. I love to learn about consumer behaviour theory and the supply and demand curve and i find it interesting.

Thirdly, i don’t think all those years studying science was a waste now that i’m studying economics. My lecturer said that science students usually do well in economics because their brains have been trained for analysing stuff. So it will be useful when you’re trying to tackle economic questions that requires you to do critical analysis.

And besides my time in PALAM was the best time of my life. I gained knowledge and valuable experience. And best of all i made friends and they’re the best and they haven’t asked me silly questions like “what happened to you Farah?”

And lastly i don’t think it’s fair to say that i’ve gone stupid because i’m  no longer in the science stream. Economic students are smart, i mean most of them got 4 flat in their exams even the ones with the science background. And the syllabus for matrics and foundation are different. I’m saying they have different difficulty levels. ok i’m just going to leave it at that.

So the point is when you make a decision consult your parents because they have lived longer and they know you well and just follow your heart. Don’t make the mistake of making a decision based on what others might think of you. Like choosing to apply for a science course even though you don’t like it and it’ll make you miserable just because you were worried about what others might think of if you choose something else. It’s your life and people will comment but at the end of the day its still your life.