Monday, 26 August 2013

UPM i’m already here!!


hehe memang lame gile x update cam dh nk tutup dh blog ny.. jgn tegur lah pasal tu.

Anyway i am happy to tell you that next week i will be going to upm to further my studies! yay! I got offered degree in economics.

Memang upm dekat gile dgn rumah so nk ckp upm i’m coming pon pelik cos technically i’m already here.

I am grateful for this amazing opportunity to study a different subject coz being in science just did not work for me. So in a way this is sort of like an escape route out of the science stream. And that’s just awesome.There is a risk but every course has its difficulties.

Sebenarnya bukan nk ckp pasal upm or economics i just want to tell you something that’s really bugging me right now.

You know i have a fear of making new friends because i’m terrified of turning back into that  weird girl in school whom for some reason no one wants to talk to.

This did not happen in palam when i was studying foundation in science. I had real friends and they actually want to hang out and talk to me. I never went to the cafe to eat alone, i always had friends with  me.  I was really happy about that.  I was no longer the anti social girl anymore. And people did not avoid me like i have some kind of highly contagious flesh eating bacteria.

So i’m really hoping and praying that in UPM i will have friends like in Palam. Because the last thing i want is to be the friendless girl sitting in the cafeteria alone.

But lately i’m noticing a pattern.  I started to reconnect with the people from school on facebook like on their facebook group and stuff. But whenever i post something like a simple question like ‘who here has a twitter account’, the post is seen by almost everyone but no one responds to it. So i was optimistic maybe they were busy or they just didn’t notice that post. but then just recently i saw that this certain classmate in school got into upm too when he posted a question on upm’s facebook group.

So i commented on his post just to be polite and say hi to a fellow upm newbie. But then that ‘classmate’ replied and acknowledged everyone else  who commented but me. Except me. So my comment just remains there without anyone responding to it. It’s like i’m a crazy fangirl who’s posting on harry styles’s twitter acount. It’s embarassing and just pathetic.

But you do get it right? It’s like everyone in my previous school got a memo that says please ignore farahatun najihah coz she’s a crazy, freaky  chick that will cling to you forever. So i’m worried that in UPM there will be lots of people from my previous school and they will send out this imaginary memo to everyone else. Then i’ m doomed to turn back into that anti social girl who no one dares to make eye contact with!

All i can do is pray and hope for the best.

But maybe there’s a slight chance that i’m just being paranoid.

Coz i still have one friend that’s still talking to me and she’s from my previous school. (hai yan!! )

I really hope I’ll be able to make new friends and they won’t think i’m crazy.

I really hope i’m just imagining things.

Anyway you’ll hear from me soon, right after orientation is over, with loads of pictures with my new friends, i hope.