Assalamualaikum. Hi everyone!!!
It’s really, really hot outside. And when it’s hot you might notice how people are on the edge lately. Small simple things can be blown up into a catastrophe that can eventually lead to world war 3.
Small simple things like sports. In a freaking stadium.
But that’s not what i want to talk about in this post. I want to explain and clarify the meaning of the phrase anti social.
This coming from the person who was anti social and still is anti social now, i guess.
Everyone thinks their anti social. It’s cool to be anti social. But being anti social isn’t where you don’t like being in a crowd of people or you don’t like a certain group of people. Being anti social, at least for me, is that i can’t be around people and it literally brings me pain to be around too many people.
Now being anti social doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t like other people and you hate being in public places.
In my case it’s the FEAR of being in a social situation. I get panic attacks where i literally forget how to breathe. I’m not even exaggerating right now, this has happened before, when i was in school. In the morning assembly, i felt like i was being choked, the air around me getting thinner.
I was like that through the whole time i was in school. My least favourite subject was recess. My favourite subject is exams. Now when i look back it sounds crazy but that’s just me being me, the anti social freak.
In Palam there wasn’t really any time to socialize in sports or whatever. Everyone focused on tests and quizzes and exams. And that’s the way i like it.
Now here in UPM, i am forced to deal with college life. Where there are meetings every night, and inter college sports, and inter college events and situations where you have to communicate with seniors. Not to mention orientations, university orientations and college orientations and floor orientations. Where you are forced to introduce yourself to everyone.
I made it through orientation, barely made it, but i survived. Now all these activities might be like leisure activities for other students where you get to have fun and laugh and i dunno sweat or something. But for me this is torture. Like if you want to get information out of me or something, just lock me in a room full of seniors from KTDI.
Now i don’t hate people. I love people. I just hate the idea of the instability of how people behave like I think it’s scary when you’re around too many people and you can’t predict or tell what they’re gonna do. Like most people say to me “They’re just seniors, they’re just regular people, they’re not gonna eat you”
Well in my mind they do eat people. I have an active imagination and i imagine the worst all the time. And whenever i’m out in public i have this constant real fear of the people around me suddenly turning into cannibals and vampires and eat everyone.
It’s like having a fear of clowns. You know the clowns will never hurt you but in your mind you have this scary image of the clown with like scary teeth and a knife in his hands.
I get it. It’s annoying. IT’s annoying to other people and it’s annoying to me as well. But everyone is different and nobody’s perfect. The keyword is respect.
Respect each other. If you think your friend is anti social, help her or him. I promise you that an anti social person have no intention of being arrogant or mean or snobbish. I want to help, i want to be involved in activities but sometimes i can’t get over that fear. And it does not help if you lash out at me and accuse me of being selfish. It’s not nice for you to do that.
I respect a social person. I get how bad you feel when there’s no one around to talk to you. Being alone is like something you can’t stand and can’t even bear to think about. I don’t really get it but i respect you. I respect that everyone is different. That crippled, lonely, depressed feeling you get when you’re alone, it’s painful for you. So i get how you want to be involved in activities.
But please i beg of you respect me as an anti social person, try to understand how i feel when you put me in a social situation. I know there will come a time when i have to do these things, and i will, but in special cases where i am given a choice, i will take the choice that involves very little contact with other people. Like in the case of sports.I’d rather not join it.
I get that its a weakness and it’s ridiculous and it might also seems childish to have such an outrageous behaviour. But being anti social also has its perks. My best writing comes out whenever i’m in a social situation.Writing is my coping mechanism and also sometimes my defense mechanism.
Tips on how to deal with anti social people
1. Be gentle.
Don’f force them to do something that they don’t want to do, or yell at them. It’s like the person is bungee jumping. The worst thing you could do is push them. What you can do is try and coax them or i dunno do whatever it is you can to assure them that there’s nothing to be afraid of.
2.Leave them
sometimes anti social people just want to be alone. To just breathe and let go of everything. So just leave them be.
3.Don’t ask them why they are alone
just don’t ask.
Ok so i hope now you understand. I know it’s not good to be anti social and i’m trying to change, but at a very slow pace. Another thing about anti social people is they can change but if you push them too much they go back into their shell. Like a hermit crab or a turtle.
Anyway thanks for reading. Have a great weekend. :)
Farah
